


I Need You

by Quinnoid



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Cel Gets a Hug, Ep 173 spoilers, Fix-it fic for Cel only, Hurt/Comfort, It's shippy but like.. not established yet, Other, Spoilers for 174 in ch2!!!, T-rating for f-bomb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26979769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid
Summary: Zolf comforts Cel, and sorta confesses his feelings?
Relationships: Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom & Zolf Smith, Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom/Zolf Smith
Comments: 16
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm having emotions about a half-elf who I would very much like to hug right now.

Zolf has never been known for being perceptive. He’s better than Bertie ever was, certainly, but he’s never been as good at reading emotions as Azu and Hamid, and Sasha was miles above him in terms of reading the environment. But Zolf can’t understand why no one else seems to have noticed Cel’s anxiety over the past week. Ever since they first built the box and things went to hell, they’ve been jumpy and stuttery, all nervous smiles and too fast talking and shaky fingers that fiddle with anything nearby. He’s pretty certain the happiest he’s seen them all week was in Wilde’s bar, being a penguin, which had been painfully adorable. Had Wilde smirked knowingly at Zolf one more time he would have punched him.

Even still, Zolf can’t understand how no one else has pulled them aside, talked to them, reassured them that nothing has been their fault. And now the ship is messed up from the aurora and he  _ knows _ they’re blaming themself, doesn’t even have to see them to know it. But the ships going down and unfortunately, against his heart, he has to focus on the ship. He has to focus on getting everyone safe, on giving everyone the best chance at survival.

The second they come up from the box, he can see that they’re crying. Can see that they aren’t even trying to hide it, probably assuming no one else will care right now, what with the ship losing altitude and the Oh No bell being rung. He can see that no one else has noticed. Earhart barely glances at them, barking her orders and moving on. He watches, furious, as their shoulders shake with barely silenced sobs and no one, not even the kobolds, spare them a glance. Still trembling, they disappear below-deck again, and Zolf decides he’s had enough.

“Wilde!” Zolf snaps, and the bard jumps to attention, sardonic smirk barely hiding the panic behind  _ his  _ eyes. “Man the wheel. I need a few minutes.”

“What? I can’t-” Wilde’s smirk falls instantly, but a dark look from Zolf shuts him up and he takes the wheel. 

“Keep it to port, otherwise you’ll start listing too far right. I’ll be back in a bit.” Wilde nods, and Zolf takes off as fast as he can, pushing his legs to their limit. He barrels down the hall toward what was the starboard engine, rounding the corner and nearly plowing into them.

“M-mr. Sm-” Cel stammers to a halt as Zolf pulls them into a tight hug. It only takes a second for them to start crying again. They crumple into him, falling to their knees and burying their face in his chest as they sob. 

“Fuck, Cel.” Zolf whispers. He hugs them a bit tighter. “It’s not your fault.”

“If I’d just done better-” They start to mumble.

“No! You couldn’t have- just no. You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re in the middle of the bloody sky, not in Hiroshima or.. Wherever. Things go wrong on ships, and we fix them the best we can, and then we keep going.”

“Zolf you don’t understand, I-”

“Just stop, Cel!” Zolf pulls back just enough for them to glare up at him, so reminiscent of a certain rogue that his heart almost stops. Their eyes are red and foggy, cheeks stained with tears, lips chapped from chewing on them for the past week. Gently, Zolf wipes away their tears. “Look, I.. Cel, this..” He takes a deep breath. “I need you Cel. I need my engineer, because the kobolds don’t know what the hell they’re doing, and I need my best friend, because I’m scared as shit and I know you are too, and.. I need my half elf. I  _ need _ you, Cel, I need..”

He doesn’t know the words, but thankfully he doesn’t need to. Cel softens, leans back into him, their hands curling tightly into his shirt. “I need you too.” They say so quietly he almost doesn’t hear them.

“I know.” He holds them tight again, trying desperately to convey his feelings, his words, his thoughts with just his arms around their shoulders.

“You and I are gunna have a talk about coping mechanisms after this.” He whispers, not really intending for them to hear.

“Alright Mr. Coping Mechanisms.” They mumble back, and he smiles. Cautiously, he lets go of them, an apology already forming when they cut him off. “Go. I’ve, uh, I’ve got this. Thank you Zolf. I- thank you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Zel hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks I'm having Even More Emotions about Everyone now and would like to provide more hugs. Canon divergent, technically. I wrote it more as a followup to last chapter than a standalone fic so. Here we are.

Wilde’s dead. Wilde’s dead, Carter’s dead, two of the kobolds are dead. And he can’t cast Resurrect. _Of course_ he can’t cast Resurrect. And Wilde’s dead, and Zolf hadn’t been able to tease him about the ship stowing away his bar. That one little thing hits him so hard and so suddenly that he nearly falls over, so he just sits down in the middle of the deck. He needs a minute to breathe, to get his mind functional. His heart is hurting so much that he can hardly think straight, can’t even really see all the people moving around him, just moving and talking and doing on autopilot. He feels like he’s back in the mines, all those years ago, pulling Feryn’s body out from-

“Zolf.” Cel says quietly. Their voice cracks, and on instinct, he opens his arms. They fall into the hug, curling around him like they’re shielding him from the world. He can feel more than hear their own quiet crying, can feel how tightly they’ve wrapped their arms around him, can feel the hot tears dripping down on the back of his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Zolf.”

He doesn’t answer, can’t because his own tears are clogging up his throat, and he _can’t_ right now. Instead, he hugs them a little tighter. They stay like that for a moment, just breathing and being until he finally feels like his throat isn’t so tight.

“I need you Cel,” He whispers into their shoulder. “I need..” His voice is breaking on every other word, and he doesn’t know the words to tell them how much he cares about them, how sorry he is, how he needs to hold them, kiss them, something

“I know. I’m here.” They whisper back, and sit up just enough to kiss the top of his head. He looks up at them and hates that he can’t take away the guilt clouding their eyes. He hates that they’re trying to hide it again.

“It isn’t your fault.”

Cel takes a deliberately slow breath and closes their eyes for a second. “I’m working on believing that.” They kiss his forehead and pull him back into a short hug. “I’m going to go make a list of what I need to fix the ship. I’ll be back. Soon. Don’t- I- Be careful please? I.. I need my.. dwarf.” 

"I will be. You uh, you too." They stand and help him to his feet, where he pulls them into one last hug before Earhart walks up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please picture Cel sitting in Zolf’s lap and holding him because I'm !!!
> 
> Anyway, if anyone would like to come yell at me about RQG, I’m on tumblr @quinnoid, and technically I'm on discord? But tbh, it usually moves way too fast for me.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I’m in a “Hug Cel Sidebottom” mood? And apparently a “Cel on their knees” mood ;) (jk, it just happened to fit here lol)


End file.
